Mini Reviews
Welcome to this month’s MINI REVIEWS, a Supercell special no less! A couple of these were around before you were born, if you’re like 12. But you wouldn’t know it, and even if you did you wouldn’t care because they’re all brilliant. In their own way. Probably you’re spending too much time playing Sonic B… um Squad Busters and we can’t blame you. But this tidy lot will still be here waiting when you’re done. Who knows, could be another 10 more years! Let’s hope so, because some of us are still shocking at Boom Beach and don’t mention managing all those silos in Hay Day. Hard enough running a magazine. Anyway, laters!
Brawl Stars
Released: 2018
Genre: MULTIPLAYER ONLINE BATTLE ARENA (MOBA)
With an INCREDIBLE roster of over 90 Brawlers, this multiplayer action game has grown ever stronger since 2018. It remains true that Brawl Stars is easy to learn, hard to master, but the skill limits are broader and deeper, enticing a wide range of players in 2025. There’s a competitive edge to every mode, and pathways to esports via Ranked, but everyone can enjoy mastering Brawlers playing solo or as part of a team. Showdown is the purest arena in which to showcase everything you know, with solo, duo or trio deathmatch scenarios. Meanwhile, modes like Heist and Brawl Ball, a wild version of soccer, bring variety to the mayhem. Most important of all, progress feels steady and fair as you level up and fine-tune your favorite Brawlers to cause the most chaos imaginable!
Clash of the clans
Released: 2012
Genre: REAL TIME STRATEGY (RTS)
Build, defend, and attack effectively to conquer all (apart from your own clan mates, of course)! There have been many revisions to Clash of Clans since its debut in the mobile game dark ages, such as the introduction of pets, the temporary (though brilliant) Mashup Madness with its Event Medals to claim, and Hero Equipment to name a few. If Supercell has proven one thing with Clash of Clans, it is commitment to the OG faithful and awareness of what keeps a modern mobile game evergreen as the Seasons roll by.
Hay day
Released: 2013
Genre: FARMING LIFESTYLE SIMULATOR
If you’re ready to get your hands dirty but live the simple life, that’s the spirit needed in Hay Day! You start out with nothing to grow into something that makes you proud and worth sharing with friends.
Play as relaxed or as ambitiously as you like while tending to fields, livestock, fishing, and running your roadside shop. Every effort is rewarded, from upgrading your farmhouse to finding your place in the neighborhood that also unlocks a weekly derby. This is so much wholesome good fun.
Clash Royale
Released: 2016
Genre: REAL TIME STRATEGY (RTS)
If Clash of Clans is war, then Clash Royale is sport! In Clash Royale players are toe-to-toe within a walled off arena. From a streamlined three towers versus three towers (two little, one ‘King’) set-up swiftly emerges the strategic element of deck versus deck—cards that you hold in your hand and how best to deploy. You’ve three minutes to make the most of your trusted deck, the final minute being deliberately more frenzied, which adds to that element of panic. Card collecting and balancing decks becomes an obsession outside of furious battles. Gripping and impossible to put down.
Boom Beach
Released: 2014
Genre: MASSIVELY MULTIPLAYER ONLINE REAL TIME STRATEGY (MMORTS)
Boom Beach trades swords, spears and bows for rockets, cannons and machine guns. It can feel like Tower Defense; your beloved military base never sleeps and must always remain vigilant. A cool Replay feature lets you take pride in success and learn from any mistakes. The cunning placement of radar to thwart enemy invasion balances the thrill of outsmarting sniper towers and bunkers when launching your own attack. While there is a background story about land-grabbing Blackguard forces, all serious investment of time is concentrated on base building and unit upgrading to support the war effort.
Hardware Review
Most wanted list...
The Squad Busters world doesn’t just offer hours of pulse-pounding, button-mashing, screen-swearing-at entertainment. It also showcases a raft of radical—if not downright bodacious—high-end technological innovations. We expect to see consumer versions of these advances flying off the shelves of Dixons or Miss Selfridge by Christmas. So be sure to let Santa know you’ve been extra good this year, or if you’re a bad liar, kidnap his most popular elf, Gloria Elfstafan.
Hammer
We all thought the hammer had reached perfection, but the Cro-Magnon favourite has received an update which will blow your mind and possibly break your thumb. Indeed, these hammers are so in demand by builders that they can actually be traded for Plaza Upgrades, without you even having to make twenty cups of tea with six sugars each and listen to a bunch of stories about how cowboys must have installed your last plaza.
Piñata
Invite your friends* to help you smite mankind’s ultimate nemesis—a straw donkey! A polyester-age upgrade now means it comes packed with more goodies than you can shake a vengeful mob’s-worth of sticks at. But the only way to knock the smirk off its smugly countenance—and free the luscious loot—is to gather a vengeful mob and use all your skill, cunning, and strategy to crowd round and bash it to pieces with sticks. So, on reflection, maybe you can shake a stick at it after all.
* Friends not included
Monster Chest
The words ‘epic monster chest’ would normally make you think of Arnie in ‘Conan’, Arnie in ‘Commando’, or if you’re over 18 (or have a fake ID for Blockbuster), perhaps the famous ‘space food poisoning’ scene from ‘Alien’. But recent advances in locker-based laboratory research malarkey are set to change all that. These monster chests are a kind of wooden crate-style object, with a pioneering hinge-like mechanism, providing access to the monster-type contents within.
Style Tickets
We all know how important style is when it comes to making an impression. Well, except maybe Gary. And Rad. And Jaz a bit. But anyway, as a special thank you to loyal players—and kind of bribe to the disloyal ones—all Squad Busters players are being gifted a veritable bumbag full of Style Tickets. Meaning you no longer have to dodge ghosts on your dangerous paper round to stock up on the latest fashions, such as Fido Dido T-shirts, and Global Hypercolour togs that show off your sexy stinky sweat patches.
Skeleton Trait
Fans of the metric system will know that a barrel of monkeys is scientifically proven to be the most fun thing possible. Amazingly, Squad Busters shatters this previously sacrosanct limit with the Skeletons Trait, which flings a barrel of Ray Harryhausenesque skeleton warriors at any enemies like so much chimpanzee poop. Although this literally magical advancement is currently only available to a single Super Witch, we expect it to soon transform the worlds of dog feeding and children’s party entertainment.
Power Chord
We’ve all spent hours in front of the mirror, strumming a tennis racquet and rocking out to the sweet riffs of trendy beat combos like Manowar, The Scorpions, and Roxette. Now you can put those expert skills to good use and literally slay your audience, with this kerrangtastic six-string blast of fury. Fire up your amp and feather up your mullet, to channel the spirits of history’s greatest axe legends, and watch your foes fall like so much dead wood with a single slash.
Babies
According to egg-brain big-head science guy Charles Darwin, babies are essential fodder for human evolution. Centuries later, Squad Busters finally provides some proof for the balding beardy’s crackpot theory. It seems that now, rather than just being born and crying about stuff, modern redesigned babies can be merged together like a crazy Play-Doh Voltron to form adults with vastly enhanced powers and cooler outfits – all without having to go through an awkward spotty phase.
